After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
