Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
