yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
