You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
