Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
