ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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