can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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