I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize