First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
