I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
