The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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