someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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