this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
