return my video game
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
