You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
