i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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