fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
