no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
