Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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