You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
