absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
