Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
