yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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