So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
