i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize
