How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
