I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
