just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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