im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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