Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
