I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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