Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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