My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
