Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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