I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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