you have to choose: penises or morals?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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