i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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