I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Randomize
