I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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