Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You're like the curious george of whores
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
