I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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