I'm going to jail i love you
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
