Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
