also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
