well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Text me some of your sweat
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
