He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
