Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
