Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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