Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
