Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
