I just made out with a guy for $7.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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