Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
