Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
