At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
