I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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