You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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