My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
