Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
be right there i have to get my cape
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
