I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
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