i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize